Kate and I share a terrace house in Fitzroy, just off Brunswick Street. Kate is a morning person. I am not. This morning, I heard the door to my room open but I couldn't move. It was only when I felt the steam from a cup of coffee hit my nose that I pulled off my eye mask (necessary to block out the sun which comes through the window above my bed) and sat up.
"Morning sunshine" said Kate.
"Ugh".
"Big day today, up and at em!"
"Yeah I know, I'm coming".
Kate was in her running gear. No doubt just back from a run, she bounced off to shower as I contemplated removing the doona and lifting one foot after the other off my bed and onto the floor.
There have been whispers round the office for some time that Uncle has been in negotiation with another BCF and that a merger is pending. Kate obviously has inside information about this which she is bursting to share but hasn't. There is meant to be a big announcement tomorrow and my money is on the merger as the big news.
I've never quite understood the concept of two big law firms merging. Why don't they just keep operating separately, create more work and generate higher fees through competition with each other then keep all the profits to themselves? But I'm not a partner and I am sure you get access to some secret file with answers to all these questions when you get made a partner.
Today is a big day because I have to file the affidavit I was working on late the other night. Judge Z is managing the case - a protracted piece of litigation dealing with helicopters.
Today is the day that I play our client's trump card.
A morning coffee from the coffee cart outside the building and I'm on my way. Affidavit? Phone? Williams Civil Procedure? Yes, yes, yes.
The Federal Court in Melbourne is a modern building. It's all glass and shiny surfaces and multicoloured poles. The court listings are electronic so once I've passed through security I check the televisions on the wall and see that I am listed with Judge Z at 10am, along with 300 million other people. It's going to be a long day. I go to the court and list my appearance with the tipstaff and wait. His Honour comes on the bench. He is in a bad mood, presumably because the list is long. He is impervious to my charm today and lists me last. I let the tipstaff know and sneak out of the court room and down to Healey's lane for a coffee and a glance at some trashy magazines while I wait.
I'm half way through my second coffee for the day and entirely consumed by the question of whether Britney's career is over because she forgot to put panties on before she left the house again and the sun is warming my back and I feel good - confident about the case - when I feel a tap on my shoulder.
"Trixie Allan". I turn and look behind me. It's Ben.
"Working hard as usual." Ben always has a sarcastic quip up his sleeve.
"Just reading up on current affairs," I say, pointing to the magazine. "You must be familiar with these sorts of matters" my finger is pointing to the picture of Britney getting out of a car (with her crotch blacked out so that you can't tell she is not wearing underwear). "Wasn't she your last girlfriend?" I ask, with a straight face.
"It's not my fault she's so heart broken without me that she forgets to get dressed before she leaves the house." I want to wipe the cheeky grin right off his perfectly tanned face but can't think of a comeback quite fast enough.
"Are you back at BCF now?" he asks.
"Yes, they're lucky to have me actually, the CLC didn't want to let me go. But all good things must come to an end."
"Who'd have thought your Uncle would have been so lucky to recruit you, with no corporate experience?"
"He is lucky. Now I can cream you in corporate litigation as well as petty crime." Ha, take that.
"I look forward to it". And then he winked at me. I hate men who wink at me.
Fortunately, the reminder on my phone beeped, "I have to get back to court".
"Don't mess it up too spectacularly" and he raised a hand to wave. I waved back and then as I turned to walk back up Lonsdale Street to the court, realised he wasn't waving at me, but at a leggy blonde, in very unprofessional work attire, who was waving back, huge smile on her face, and shaking her mane of long hair down her back in slow motion.
I hate women like that, it takes the cause back about ten years. That's why men like Ben love them. They probably don't wear panties.
And it's not even lunch time yet...
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