It's that time of year…
partner's hide your coffers,
the salary review is here!
Lawyers prepare the show-stoppers
that you will present
to the management committee
because they will resent you
if you just sit and look pretty.
So think about your virtues,
achievements and goals,
wonderful accomplishments
and great gaping holes.
The ones that you left
when you transferred in March,
on your grad rotation
or secondment to Mars.
Because that's where you'll be
if you haven't prepared
something great for them
like a rabbit, that's long-haired
to jump out of a hat
and make them gasp 'wow,
that woman's fantastic
give her a pay-rise now!'
The system it seems
so scary and big
but it's not that bad
if you have a dancing pig.
That should distract them
for about ten minutes
and you can scribble some numbers,
throw at them figures.
So sensible, wise,
grounded and sure
your offer will make them
want to pay you more.
You hope and you pray,
you've only just found God
but deep down he knows
you work very hard.
And even though the billings
aren't always six and a half
you've made a wonderful contribution
to office morale.
You joke and you laugh,
you dine and you wine
there's no I in team,
certainly not this time.
The admin staff
and office services
know you all personally
and you know they're all surfers.
They leave the office
on Fridays at noon
and they get in their cars
and drive all afternoon.
They drive to the coast
and surf all weekend
but you only know
because you're their friend.
You've never left
the office before five
unless it's on leave
or business that's live.
Because you're a hard worker
and have a heart that's big,
you deserve a pay rise,
where's that dancing pig?!
No comments:
Post a Comment