benorrhea

Just three weeks left to September Shindig. I was quite content with my flu excuse and was starting to develop a bit of a headache one afternoon which I thought I would use as the groundwork for developing my symptoms. (I know that three weeks is a long time to have the flu but best to build these things slowly so that they are more convincing, and now we have the horse flu anyway, who knows, I could have caught that given all the horses I work with.)

I say I was quite content with my flu because stupid Kate and Jean-Claude went and buggered it all up today. As you know, they are in their happy-slappy-lovey-drool-all-over-my couch-every-night stage of their relationship still. And short of spending every single one of my nights seeking refuge in some kind of buttered pastry or chocolate covered gorgeous nibbly thing at Brunetti's I had to learn to live with a couple.

Of course, one of the gigantic downsides of living with a couple, when you're not in a couple, is their desire to set you up, all the time. I have been on two blind dates with friends of Jean-Claude's and men, let me tell you, you could make a little bit of effort. Showering and paying for at least your half of the drinks/meal/movie I understand to be basic requirements when going on a date. Apparently not among Jean-Claude's friends.

So having been exposed to extreme dating, Jean-Claude style, I had chosen the flu . Like those t-shirts in the 80s and 90s that said 'choose life' I was in the process of designing one that said 'choose flu'.

Then, today, Jean-Claude emailed Kate to say that he had overheard Peters saying to Uncle that Ben (perfect Ben) was thinking of asking me to go with him to September shindig.

Now why would Ben want to do that? We clearly despise each other and are competing in the same workplace for pay rises and bonuses from the same pool as well as dipping in to the same promotion pot. I am 100% sure this is some clever ruse on his part to get in with Uncle, who he knows is uber keen for me to have a 'steady'.

I think my flu just got upped to the measles, or even better, something contagious like Gonorrhea which will send him running for the hills. That'll teach him to think about asking me to 'accompany him'. Bastard.