Tuesday, December 4, 2007

'intervention'

'Intervention' is an interesting word. When I hear it, I immediately think of drug addicted crazies whose family have staged an 'intervention' in an effort to get them to stop drinking/shooting up/stealing things/take better care of themselves.

'intervene' is defined in the online Macquarie dictionary as:
verb (i) (intervened, intervening)
1. to come between in action; intercede: to intervene in a dispute.
2. to come or be between, as in place, time, or a series.
3. to fall or happen between other events or periods: nothing interesting has intervened.
4. (of things) to occur incidentally so as to modify a result.
5. to come in, as something not belonging.
6. Law to interpose and become a party to a suit pending between other parties. [Latin intervenīre come between]

I suppose then, that an 'intervention' order is designed to 'come between' two parties in a dispute in order to settle it or at the least create some boundaries.

From the snooping I have done so far it seems VGM's wife needs some serious boundaries established.

She is a classic conservative housewife who got bored, started doing drugs and is now causing chaos for everyone around her, including the two miniature poodles she has had topiaried within an inch of their lives. Receipts show that she has them washed, trimmed and dried (even sometimes dyed) once a week at a Greville St salon.

She spends a normal day avoiding food, working out at an exclusive women only gym and receiving various beauty treatments. She keeps her stamina up with a few grams of coke.

Tough life. Until the coke starts to send you a bit psycho and the trainer who used to be your best friend is scared of you, you assault the nail technician with the hot glue gun and tell your dealer to 'f*ck off' because you are 'bigger in this town than he'll ever be'.

I have a few witnesses to call at the final intervention order hearing to tomorrow. My personal favourite is the hairdresser who tends the poodles each week. She is so terrified of VGM's wife that she hides in the store room until VGM's wife has dropped off the dogs and left the salon, then spends three hours on each dog making them perfect before VGM's wife returns to collect them (and the hairdresser is always safely back in the storeroom by the time she arrives). I had to promise the hairdresser that VGM's wife would not be in the court room when she was called to give evidence.

I very much hope that the law 'comes between' VGM and his wife tomorrow in a way that makes me look good.

1 comment:

toey said...

Wow, I just read that 'The Age' article- you're famous!