pay rise poem 2008

Oh yes, it's performance review season again! The hunters are out in full kit, their hounds sniffing out weak ones, guns poised and heads cocked.

It is incredible that the people who have drunkenly sung at me, called me 'not too bad for a skirt', bribed me with pash photos from September Shindig and revelled in fake pieces of art made from a colander and bulldog clips will now be deciding my fate for the next year. I imagine it's a little bit like dealing with kindergarten children at recess time.

Now admittedly, there is not too much to decide in relation to my fate because Peters' VGM, pro bono and my recent average of 9 1/2 billable hours a day thanks to discovery will put me in the 'exceeds expectations' category. But all this got me thinking - whatever they do with me, will it be enough?

The term elegant sufficiency used to be bandied about by ladies who wanted to indicate a satiated appetite. Can the same principles apply to pay rises? Is our hunger ever satiated?

And so, we come to this year's pay rise poem...

I want
a lot of things
I can't have

Louboutin shoes
Chanel and
gucci handbags

but at work
I want
and never get

a sense
of pride
of no regret

crime was
simple
even if unclean

commercial
litigation
is a different scene

the people
are nasty and
incredibly rich

despite my efforts
I'm in this
soul-less ditch

so pay me
more money
and i'll go away

but not
for too long
perhaps just a day

but no matter
how little
small or big

it won't be enough
so dance
little pig